Saturday, 28 December 2013

Happy Anniversary Baby!

For the last year I have been engaged in the most perfect relationship I have ever experienced. Yes this is about my homosexual love affair with a cardboard cutout. Last Christmas I was introduced to Kristen, my dream woman. Im no psychologist and I cant tell you the main things that contribute to a healthy, happy relationship. But I can assure you, whatever they are, we have them in the bucket load. As soon as we saw each other we had an unspoken agreement, the first time we met we were up all night talking until the early hours- i just babbled on and on while she listened the whole time. I had that nervous excitement in the pit of my stomach as I felt her eyes follow me around the room.

With K there is a Mutual respect, I understand her goals and value them even though they may be a little different from mine. After her last big job she's not exactly motivated to do much, she's at a bit of a stand still in her life but as long as she is happy with that then so am i (and thats what matters). Kristen likes to keep a stiff upper lip and at first this was a problem- I thought it might have something to do with me. But no, she is just very reserved. Doesn't like to be seen as vulnerable so holds a great poker face when discussing difficult issues. The media don't help, portraying her to be hard-edged and emotionally unavailable, but she is just guarded. I bet you're thinking that with some one like that our love life must take a bit of a hit, but let me put it to you this way- Youll always find her in the bedroom ;)

Hey im not saying its all a bed of roses, obviously we fight, I get it- before me she used to make a lot of money, what with being a big blockbuster star, and she sure likes to remind me about it, always wearing that bloody Oscars gown around the house. Its a bit over the top right? Just because at the moment I'm the one going out working my ass off while she stands around at home. But y'no, we talk it over, although the conversation may always be a bit one sided, we work it out. And I know whatever happens she will always stand by me. She is my rock, my unshakable pillar of everlasting love and support.

Thank God I'm making wedding dresses at the moment, because at this rate we'll be needing two.

the first time we met

Seeing me off for work

Before we went to dinner one night

Her clowning around-classic K.



Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Top o' da Mornin' to ya


Guess what? My blooming ugly mug is gonna be on the box! That’s right, I’m going on telly, Irish telly-but hey, Ireland is the next Milan in the fashion world don’t you know? Semi-nervous about the liability that is my mouth. It’s been said before- I curse like a sailor and have the mind of a dirty old man. So me going on telly-LIVE telly is perhaps something I need to prep for. I’m going on a show called Ireland AM. Apparently its like our ‘This Morning’. But I can tell you now if the host has a rack anything like Willoughby then its not my mouth but my wondering eyes that are going to be the issue (I’m straight. Honest).

Anyway so I have to fly to Dublin, be on the show and chat about this wedding collection I’m doing, then be in a big wedding show event. It’s all very exciting and surely I can now claim Dumpster is an international company (cough). However having to act professional for an extended period of time could be amusing to watch, especially as I got in a fit of giggles yesterday when trying to book a hotel because the bloke on the phone sounded like the leprechauns in the movies. Although that could also have something to do with the constant state of stress and panic I am in at the moment.  Having to make one wedding dress in three weeks is enough to turn someone loopy, let alone four. I’ve done nothing but stare at different types of white material every hour of every day. I swear to God if it snows I might have to be hospitalised. 

So for now it’s a ‘watch this space’. Four dresses, four different materials, and four very, very short weeks. Lets hope I find myself a Colin Farrell and it will all be worth it.


(these are the ache in my metaphorical ball)