Saturday, 12 October 2013

Better left off the CV

On Friday i some how found myself at a fashion seminar on the 'panel of experts' with the CEO of the British Fashion Council. During the Q&A session there were a few questions asked about A levels and Degrees from the pupils in the audience. As i'm an honest bean i said the truth- im a uni drop out and a degree in my case was a waste of time. This was met with the headmasters head in his hands and a cough to break the awkward silence. I soon realised there are some things better left off my CV...

-Im a uni drop out.

-Whenever i see a child and cant immediately identify its parent or guardian i run through a list of ways i can steal it.

-I sometimes don't change my bed sheets for months on end.

-I secretly take pictures of boys in the gym.

-I still suck my thumb.

-It baffels me how blind people walk with those sticks.

-I slept on my brothers floor until i was 16 because i was (and still am) scared of ghosts.

-I struggle to spell words with more than five characters.

-My three favourite topics of conversation are poo, periods and sex.

-80% of me is convinced i will marry Joseph Gorden Levitt.

-I play a game with myself where i stand really close to strangers and see how long it takes for them to get creeped out and back away.

-I thought Louis Vuitton and Christian Louboutin were the same brand/person until last week.

-When i recite the alphabet i put in two N's. One in its rightful place and then an extra after the U.

-I dont know where Germany is (and any country other than England and France for that matter).

-If i get sticky, instead of washing my hands i'll wipe them on my trousers.

These are just a few off the top of my head. I think its safe to say don't trust me with your children, and/or any large tasks involving basic sense. Im killer at making dresses out of paper though- look my first shop window... how bon. 



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