This is an ode to the ginger at fitness first, portsmouth.
Oh Gym Ginger,
You have revolutionised my gym experience. It used to be about working out, but now it is oh so much more. I was squatting, minding my own business when you walked in to the free style area and my world was shaken. You have the body of an adonis, and on more than one occasion i have had to stop myself from asking whether it is in fact chiseled from the worlds finest marble. I used to be nonchalant about the whole gym thing, get sweaty go home. But now, now i put moisturiser on before i hit weights. I colour co-ordinate my work out clothes, i try and impress you by learning new strength training exercises. I know your routine fairly well now, and you know what? mines the same. Yeah thats right, nothing says true love like having the same back and biceps day. I often find myself wanting to leap into your arms while your doing chest flyes, just to see what it would be like to be cradled by those Arnie arms, protected in your unruly Godliness. Ive also had the idea of shuffling under you whilst mid plank- surely you couldn't resist such an act of clear passion?
And yes that one time when you were working out next to me, it was a camera sound you heard. I was talking pictures of you whilst on the floor, using stretching as a pretense. It would have worked had i not been foiled by forgetting to put my phone on silent.
So to my ginger at the gym, ive seen you. I know youve seen me.
Lets stop playing games now.
PS. i can even forgive your t-shirt tan lines. That shows my unshaken commitment to you if nothing else does.