Tuesday, 15 January 2013


Hollyoaks is stalking me.

This started as an inkling, a funny feeling and joke that seemed to happen alot. 'Oh look, Hollyoaks is on again'. But now it has become a sick and twisted reality. Every time i settle down for a cosy sofa session i am faced with this revolting show. To make things worse we dont have a tv remote, so i get comfy and BAM the unnerving theme tune begins, it induces a knee jerk reaction of goosebumps and nausea. I quickly scramble around to make the move across the lounge to shut it off before the disgustingly awful acting can begin, but sometimes i cant move quick enough and i hear an attempt of a terrible northern accent. 

Yesterday i was watching something, all happy and content, then i looked down to read a paragraph of my book, ONE paragraph, turned back to the telly, and there it was. Why does this show keep ruining my life?! im a good person, i pay tax, i recycle, i wash behind my ears. I DONT DESERVE THIS. 

Please, please, if there is any form of superior being in the universe, be that God, or faith, or plain old hope. Please take Hollyoaks off the air.

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